The big, expensive, and messy iPhone has been named by Time magazine the Invention of the year. This despite the fact that it is still locked to AT&T. The reasons Time gives are about as gay as AIDs.

Here are the five reasons for naming the iPhone the invention of the year straight from Time magazine and my reaction to each reason:

1. The iPhone is pretty – Cosmetic value comes into play when considering which invention of the year has the most utility value?
2. It’s touchy-feely – It is touchy feely – so much so that you may find yourself buying phone fingers.
3. It will make other phones better – As if mobile phones would not and could not evolve without the iPhone
4. It’s not a phone, it’s a platform – Is this the only phone that can make such a claim? I think not.
5. It is but the ghost of iPhones yet to come – Naming it the invention of this year based on the fact that it will probably get better in the years to come is just plain retarded. No shit it will evolve. So will every other invention this year.

What a credible list of reasons. Here’s the actual article in case you think I made this ludicrous list up myself.