There are a lot of motivational articles out there deal with ways to better yourself. With inspiration from a fellow blogger over at The Positivity Blog, allow me to explain how to make yourself absolutely miserable.

Think negative thoughts. Live in a cave of negative darkness. When you lay in bed at night, think about the bad things in your life. Allow yourself to wallow in misery. Never think about about what you have but only about what you want, don’t have, and must do. Negatively thinking to yourself is the easiest way to make yourself miserable.

A surefire way to make yourself miserable is to compare yourself to others. When you start to think about your life and what you’ve accomplished in terms of other people you are going to leave yourself feeling unsatisfied. Feel free to compare yourself only to losers who’ve done nothing. Even then you are robbing yourself of a genuine feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction.

Being obedient will lead to misery. If you try to please everybody and follow their expectations you will not only end up not pleasing them but you will end up losing your own dreams in the process. Of course, you should not do what is reasonable to please your family, friends, and loved ones because you might accidentally find satisfaction in pleasing people who are close to you.

Do the same thing every day. Never try new stuff. Never travel. Never do things you’ve been afraid of trying. Never leave your comfort zone. Just make a schedule, etch it in stone, and stick with it forever. Misery will certainly be your best friend. Whatever it is that you do everyday, take it seriously. Actually, take everything too seriously. You only live once so you should take each moment seriously. There is no room for simple pleasures. If you want misery to control you, you must remain serious about everything.

Don’t forget to not enjoy the moment. Obsess over past failures. Think about what you would do differently if only you could go backwards. Think about the bleak future. Stress out hardcore about the future. The future is uncertain and you should think constantly about it being thus. While you’re daydreaming about the past and the future, make sure to give careful consideration to what you don’t want. Thinking about what you don’t want will help you be miserable because while doing so you won’t have the opportunity to think about what it is that you do want.

If you’re having trouble with all of the above, find a false sense of security in something. Play too many video games, drink too much liquor, smoke too much weed, watch a ton of TV. Distract yourself before you accidentally try something new or begin dreaming of brighter days. And because a false sense of security simply isn’t enough sometimes, make certain you allow yourself to rely on external validation. Never praise yourself or feel good about who you are. The only time you should feel validated is when somebody explains to you your successes and value.

Follow this advice and you too will be able to achieve misery in no time at all!