“What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now,
He’d make a plan
And he’d follow through,
That’s what Brian Boitano’d do.

When Brian Boitano was in the olympics,
Skating for the gold,
He did two sow cows and a triple lutz,
While wearing a blind fold.

When Brian Boitano was in the alps,
Fighting grizzly bears,
He used his magical fire breath,
And saved the maidens fair.

So what would Brian Boitano do
If he were here today,
I’m sure he’d kick an ass or two,
That’s what Brian Boitano’d do.

And what would Brian Boitano do,
He’d call all the kids in town,
And tell them to unite for truth
That’s what Brian Boitano would do.

When Brian Boitano travelled through time
To the year 3010,
He fought the evil robot king
And saved the human race again
And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids,
He beat up Kublia Khan

Cuz Brian Boitano doesn’t take shit from an-y-body”