In Tampa, Florida, a 13-year-old girl robbed a Burger King Restaurant at knife point! Fresh out of Juvenile Detention, the girl only made one demand: “Give me a FUCKING cheesburger now!” After chasing an employee into the kitchen with the blade in hand, she was subdued by other employees until the police arrive.

She explained to investigators that she was hungry and wanted a burger. Instead of a burger, this young girl is back in JAC with charges of armed burglary, armed robbery, and violation of home detention.

TampaBays10 Report

Back in the day, Network Solutions was the only place to go to buy a .com or any other domain name for that matter. Now, however, they are a distant third behind market giants GoDaddy and eNom. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why. Network Solutions charges over four times as much money as other industry leaders do.

Now comes word that Network Solutions is resorting to scamming people. Site’s like Network Solutions have a tool on their page that allows people to look for available websites to register. Now whenever anybody uses this tool on their site, Network Solutions will do more than report back to you whether the site is available or not. If it’s available, Network Solutions will register the domain automatically. In other words, they will say “Hey, yeah it’s available, and the only way you’re going to get it is if you buy it from me.”

Stay away from Network Solutions. You do not want to have to pay $35 for what you can get for $8 or less from other sites that provide the exact same thing! Shame on you, Network Solutions. Shame on you…

Thanks goes to TechCrunch for the scoop

As dumb as this is, I am not at all surprised. Some Romeo out there has put together a site that aims at helping Warcraft addicts find romance. Why go on 8 hour raids alone when you can do it with the female Night Elf of your dreams?

Datecraft is destined for failure for one reason – no true World of Warcraft player will log off long enough to complete an entire date.  Keep in Ironforge, y’all.

In Poitiers, France, the latest doggy crazy is the dog washing machine.

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22-year-old Joshua Balduf, a student at the State University College at Geneseo, handed out marijuana for Halloween. Not only did he hand it out to the teens between the ages of 15 and 17, he even smoked it with them. Yes, he is that stupid. He was charged with second-degree criminal sale of marijuana, a felony, first-degree unlawfully dealing with a child and first-degree endangering the welfare of a child, both misdemeanors.

Thanks to Democrat and Chronicle for this tale

Jenkem is the new drug of choice for many teenagers this day. Jenkem you ask?

Kids these days are inhaling the vapors from their own shit. I am not kidding. They bottle their shit up into a jar and let it bake outside in the sun for a week. Once it has properly fermented, the kids huff the resulting fumes in order to get a buzz.

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I’m at a loss for words here. Yes, view the full article and you will see two bars of Warcraft soap.

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Listen to this. One stupid mother had the audacity to prevent her sweet boy the right to play Halo 3. But here’s where it get worse: she got upset with this budding gamer when he punched her in the face! What in the hell did she expect to happen? Worse, the cops had to come and also got punched in the face. This could have all been easily prevented if this wench would have let her innocent darling play the damn game.

Thanks to TCPalm for the report.

If you’ve ever logged into MySpace before, you’ve seen co-founder Tom Anderson. He’s that silly bastard that is automatically your very first friend.

MySpace has come under fire for sexual predators making fake profiles to seduce the young. Now there is news that everybody’s first friend Tom Anderson hasn’t been so honest himself. His profile lists him as 32. Anderson is one week shy of 37. Big deal? Well I don’t like MySpace, so anything negative is a big deal to me!

Thank you Newsweek for your important investigation!

Scotland native Robert Stewart was caught last year trying to have sex with a bicycle. He has since admitted to ‘sexual breach of the peace’.

Stewart was discovered wearing only a shirt humping the bicycle by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel. Now, Mr. Stewart has made the coveted sex offenders’ register.

Interestlingly enough, and not all that shocking, is the fact that he is not the first man to be convicted of banging an inanimate object. Electrician Karl Watkins was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

Sydney Morning Herald article

Bobby Lee Bolen, a 35-year old from Buchanan Michigan, has been sentenced to 54 days in jail. Why? For assaulting one Judy Lee and her friend with two large pickles.

“If this is not the silliest case I’ve ever seen in this courtroom, it certainly is in the top 10,” Berrian Trial Court Judge Scott Schofield said. Defense attorney Robert Lutz said alcohol seemed to be the cause of Bolen’s problems.

Bottom line: Don’t mess with an intoxicated man dual-wielding pickles.

via ClickOnDetroit

According to wealth counselor Szifra Birke, just about one-third of lottery winners are in serious financial trouble or even bankrupt within the first five years of winning. Many of these bankrupt lottery winners were financially stable prior to the big win. These fools rely on their newfound wealth to bail them out of reckless spending. Now the funny part…

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The same government that hates marijuana and denies that it has any medical value also supplies patients with 300 joints every 25 days. These lucky few are legally allowed to toke up wherever and whenever they please.

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iShoes… what to say about them? They are another way for lazy Americans to become fatter and another option for dorks to become dorkier.

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A company known best for making those damn roller shoes worn by dumbass kids who annoy me for wearing them, Heelys, has invented yet another retarded shoe style: shoes with soles made to resemble video game controllers.

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Yes phone fingers. Phone fingers are finger covers intended to prevent smudge marks on your iPhone screen. You’ve got to see what this crap actually looks like to fully understand just how ridiculous this product really is.

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