Karma Rogue » Stupid

Armed 13-Year-Old Girl Robs Burger King

Eric Cumberworth — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 00:29:37 +0000

In Tampa, Florida, a 13-year-old girl robbed a Burger King Restaurant at knife point! Fresh out of Juvenile Detention, the girl only made one demand: “Give me a FUCKING cheesburger now!” After chasing an employee into the kitchen with the blade in hand, she was subdued by other employees until the police arrive.

She explained to investigators that she was hungry and wanted a burger. Instead of a burger, this young girl is back in JAC with charges of armed burglary, armed robbery, and violation of home detention.

TampaBays10 Report

Network Solutions Scam

Eric Cumberworth — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 03:20:48 +0000

Back in the day, Network Solutions was the only place to go to buy a .com or any other domain name for that matter. Now, however, they are a distant third behind market giants GoDaddy and eNom. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why. Network Solutions charges over four times as much money as other industry leaders do.

Now comes word that Network Solutions is resorting to scamming people. Site’s like Network Solutions have a tool on their page that allows people to look for available websites to register. Now whenever anybody uses this tool on their site, Network Solutions will do more than report back to you whether the site is available or not. If it’s available, Network Solutions will register the domain automatically. In other words, they will say “Hey, yeah it’s available, and the only way you’re going to get it is if you buy it from me.”

Stay away from Network Solutions. You do not want to have to pay $35 for what you can get for $8 or less from other sites that provide the exact same thing! Shame on you, Network Solutions. Shame on you…

Thanks goes to TechCrunch for the scoop

World of Datecraft

Eric Cumberworth — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 02:05:51 +0000

As dumb as this is, I am not at all surprised. Some Romeo out there has put together a site that aims at helping Warcraft addicts find romance. Why go on 8 hour raids alone when you can do it with the female Night Elf of your dreams?

Datecraft is destined for failure for one reason – no true World of Warcraft player will log off long enough to complete an entire date. Keep in Ironforge, y’all.

Dog Washing Machine

Eric Cumberworth — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 02:44:27 +0000

In Poitiers, France, the latest doggy crazy is the dog washing machine.

At over $30,000, there is no real excuse for owning one of these things. Even if you were paralyzed and owned the largest dog in the world, and therefore were physically unable to wash it, there is still no reason to buy one of these things. Even though I’m not a dog, I can imagine they prefer going to the local dog groomer any day over this crazy-ass device.

keyetv is owed thanks for the scoop

Marijuana to Trick-or-Treaters

Eric Cumberworth — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 04:59:53 +0000

22-year-old Joshua Balduf, a student at the State University College at Geneseo, handed out marijuana for Halloween. Not only did he hand it out to the teens between the ages of 15 and 17, he even smoked it with them. Yes, he is that stupid. He was charged with second-degree criminal sale of marijuana, a felony, first-degree unlawfully dealing with a child and first-degree endangering the welfare of a child, both misdemeanors.

Thanks to Democrat and Chronicle for this tale

Jenkem

Eric Cumberworth — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 04:22:27 +0000

Jenkem is the new drug of choice for many teenagers this day. Jenkem you ask?

Kids these days are inhaling the vapors from their own shit. I am not kidding. They bottle their shit up into a jar and let it bake outside in the sun for a week. Once it has properly fermented, the kids huff the resulting fumes in order to get a buzz.

The effects of Jenkem last roughly an hour and consist of visual hallucinations. It used to be that only poor kids in Zambia did this crap but now kids in America are huffing it. In Naples, Florida, the county’s Criminal Intelligence Bureau had to issue a report about the students using Jenkem at Palmetto Ridge High school. A spokesman for the Drug Enforcement Agency claims “there are people in America trying [Jenkem].”

Read about the Jenkem Madness at the Washington Post’s blog and check out the Smoking Gun’s report

Warcraft Soap

Eric Cumberworth — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 22:25:34 +0000

I’m at a loss for words here. Yes, view the full article and you will see two bars of Warcraft soap.

I’ve heard that World of Warcraft players have bad hygiene. Little did I know, however, that there is a market for Warcraft soap. The soap is shaped like a Hearthstone. For non-WoW players, the Hearthstone is an object all Warcraft players have that allows them to teleport their character to their home.

For $14.78 you get two normal sized bars of soap. For $10 more you can buy Glider which is a very nice Warcraft botting tool. By botting, you will be able to return to the real world while your character levels itself up.

Etsy sells the soap (and, can you believe it? they are sold out at press time!)

Halo 3 Player Punches Mom

Eric Cumberworth — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 22:58:07 +0000

Listen to this. One stupid mother had the audacity to prevent her sweet boy the right to play Halo 3. But here’s where it get worse: she got upset with this budding gamer when he punched her in the face! What in the hell did she expect to happen? Worse, the cops had to come and also got punched in the face. This could have all been easily prevented if this wench would have let her innocent darling play the damn game.

Thanks to TCPalm for the report.

MySpace Founder Caught Lying

Eric Cumberworth — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 02:37:31 +0000

If you’ve ever logged into MySpace before, you’ve seen co-founder Tom Anderson. He’s that silly bastard that is automatically your very first friend.

MySpace has come under fire for sexual predators making fake profiles to seduce the young. Now there is news that everybody’s first friend Tom Anderson hasn’t been so honest himself. His profile lists him as 32. Anderson is one week shy of 37. Big deal? Well I don’t like MySpace, so anything negative is a big deal to me!

Thank you Newsweek for your important investigation!

Man Has Sex with Bike Listed as Offender

Eric Cumberworth — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 20:59:58 +0000

Scotland native Robert Stewart was caught last year trying to have sex with a bicycle. He has since admitted to ’sexual breach of the peace’.

Stewart was discovered wearing only a shirt humping the bicycle by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel. Now, Mr. Stewart has made the coveted sex offenders’ register.

Interestlingly enough, and not all that shocking, is the fact that he is not the first man to be convicted of banging an inanimate object. Electrician Karl Watkins was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

Sydney Morning Herald article